i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
i think im in europe. pls send help
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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