Say something about gay babies.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
