Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
