Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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