i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
