It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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