suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
