Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
so let's talk penis.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
i believe in u and ur pee
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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