yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
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