I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize