I'm jealous of your bromance
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I think I just shit out all my problems.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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