he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
