we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
