: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
he's single and there are thong briefs.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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