brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
