I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
