He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
