And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize