I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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