i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I forgot wine drunk hurts
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
