ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Randomize
