Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
