BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
