Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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