Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
