hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
