I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
