it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
