Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
false alarm, still single
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
