Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize