You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize