just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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