he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize