i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Randomize
