My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
