Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
