Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
