drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
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