Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
