I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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