Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
