You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
then he tried to convert me to islam
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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