If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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