Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
You need a sexual gate keeper
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
