Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
