she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize