he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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