i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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