I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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