HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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