im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
