Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
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