i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I love you.
Bad choice
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