Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
