Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize