I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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