she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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