$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize