Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
