you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
