After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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