And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
