dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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