Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Randomize
