when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
