Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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